Anyone here divorced?

vwkess · Post by **vwkess** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 12:17 pm

So I think my wife is going to ask me to leave tonight. It’s kinda sad, but it’s probably for the best (long story). Even though this is probably going to be an amicable divorce, it still seems quite complicated. If anyone has any advice from experience, I'd appreciate it

SuperDave · Post by **SuperDave** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 12:19 pm

I like marriage so much, I tried it twice. Divorce, too.

Best thing I can say is, remain a gentleman in the face of whatever provocation may come. You'll want to look back on this years in the future and feel no remorse for any of your actions.

Vaporizer · Post by **Vaporizer** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 12:24 pm

Yup, 2x even (and I'm only 27!) Well the first was the worst, my wife got pregnant by my girl friend's brother! Horrible, horrible I tell ya!

dadx2mj · Post by **dadx2mj** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 12:34 pm

Count me in, I have been devorced twice. Both of them were pretty easy has divorces go but even at that they are no fun. Keep your head and try not to get too emotional about it. It is very hard do keep it from getting ugly. Try not to become vendictive and stay reasonable I think that makes you look better to the Judge who will ultimatly have the final say.

nitro237 · Post by **nitro237** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 5:49 pm

Twice here also . The biggest thing I learned was with the last one . It was about 9 years ago . It was going to be amicable , and it was . We both wanted to split up , and I felt like it would be a lot easier on everyone if I left . We had a 3 year old child together , and I wanted to do the right thing . So I let her keep the house and all the furniture , everything . I wanted my daughter to live in a decent house . I just took my clothes and other personal items of mine . After the divorce was final and property settlement done , she became a real witch . Made my life miserable . Used our daughter to get at me . Was real bad . She almost immediatly got remarried and moved in his house . Just kept ours and rented it out , making good money on the deal while I was struggling trying to make ends meet in a small apartment with no furniture or nothing .

Moral to this story : Be nice but be reasonable and think about your own future as well .

Sorry for being long . vwkess , I will be praying for you and your wife . Hope it turns out OK for you

vwkess · Post by **vwkess** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 7:21 pm

Well, my intuition was correct, looks like I'm moving out this weekend.

Best thing I can say is, remain a gentleman in the face of whatever provocation may come. You'll want to look back on this years in the future and feel no remorse for any of your actions.

Yeah, I've been trying, never even raised my voice!

Thanks for the prayers nitro, it's appreciated

See, now your story spooks me. Luckily we don't have any children together, but I'm still giving her the house and pretty much everything in it. Since I'm the one who wanted to end it in the first place, it seems like the right thing to do. I just hope it doesn't turn around and haunt me in the end.

blade · Post by **blade** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 7:37 pm

As others said do watch your back and look out for yourself because later they get to talking to others and see how other females make out then they get greedy and demand more and see an attorney. Making your life hell. I've seen it happen many times and to several friends and now to one nephew who has a constant hassle from his ex. So please do what you can to be sure you'll get no future hassles. Unfortunately promises don't mean anything when it comes to things like this.

Hang in there amigo.

nexus_7 · Post by **nexus_7** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:13 pm

Bunch of twofers here. Vaporizer,

Greg

PreDatoR · Post by **PreDatoR** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:23 pm

I'm at the end of a divorce... Wasn't pretty at first... My X is a real bitch and nutcase... Might actually drag on longer been an ongoing thing for almost 2 years now... Think i'm gonna go for custody of our daughter.. I don't care for the shit she's been pulling lately... I was always nice to her even though i didn't want too and she's made every attempt to make my life hell... Has tried more than once to break my gf and i up just tried again recently and it just pisses her off even more when we don't

just like the others said... be nice and watch your back cause women are vindictive as hell... They'll stab ya in the back when givin' the chance... I was lucky and we didn't own a house or nothin' i took my personal belongings and moved back in with my mom and dad for a few months... Really its a shame mothers bitch cause of dad's that walk away from their children and want nothing to do with them... I've seen it with friends and family more than once... What the mom's don't realize is its them that force the dads away... The vindictiveness and other bullshit they pull gets to ya after a while... Unfortunately for my X its gonna take a lot more than that to keep me from my daughter...

Lmandrake · Post by **Lmandrake** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:33 pm

Just once here....

It is going to be very crazy for a while... but it will sort itself out.

Don't set yourself up for a fall just to get it over with and whatever you do, don't agree to anything because you feel guilty (unless you got her sister pregnant). Even when there has not been any cheating, some women see the failure of a marriage as a betrayal and have to extract some payback. Unless there is something I don't understand here, with no kids there seems to be little or no reason for her to get the house unless you get your share of it...

If you don't have a lawyer, get one NOW!

Thank the lord right now that you don't have children who have to go through this too.

Sorry for your pain bro. This too shall pass.....

Fu Manchu · Post by **Fu Manchu** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:38 pm

if you have children make sure you stay in contact with them ... thats somethign adn one of the biggest things my father neglected to do when my parents split ... so keep in contact if you have kids

nexus_7 · Post by **nexus_7** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 8:50 pm

Have to agree with that. my dad not only didnt keep in contact At all but also didnt pay child support. I met him again when I turned 21 but there was over 15 years between thee with out knowing anything. But U pca guys are Allright im sure.

Greg

glassoftea · Post by **glassoftea** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 9:12 pm

VW,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I myself am not divorced but I will say this, I have seen my mother and father divorce along with both of my older brothers. I would take the advice of the other members in that you don't want to be an ass in order to try and make it as amicable as possible but at the same time you have to reach that happy medium. If you give and give and give and feel like you got shafted when it is all said and done then you will be even more bitter and spitefull when it's all over. The fact that you don't have kids makes the logistics easier but prolly not that much easier, just less relationships to fix etc.

Best of luck to you, hope you make it through the situation with as little pain as possible.

glass

RubberDuckie · Post by **RubberDuckie** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 9:27 pm

VW sorry to hear about that...
one word of advice:
Cancel all the credit cards....I have too many friends that went thru a divorce and are paying Several thousands of dollars their spouse put on the CC at the last minute.
Not saying your girl would do that...but cant be too careful. beisdes you two will need to get your own after this.

Good luck and besh wishes... I couldnt imagine going thru that.

vwkess · Post by **vwkess** » Tue Mar 05, 2002 9:38 pm

Yes, thank god no kids. We recently moved into this house, so I don't have much equity built up yet. I think it would be more of a pain in the ass to sell it and spilt it. Besides, she has her business already set up here and I would rather not screw that up. Maybe I'll end up taking the stocks we have to make it even. I'll basically be walking away with that, 2 of my cars (she’s keeping the Acura) and about $4,000 in debt, which should be easy enough to pay off in a couple of months. Then I can just start fresh! So no child support, but what about alimony? She actually makes a little more than me, so I'm thinking I shouldn't have to worry about that either. I gotta call the CC company tomorrow and freeze the account. Guess I'm going to close my bank account as well and open another one. Ugh... to much crap to think about!