Puns R Us
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:35 pm
1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round
table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much
pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey
maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was
confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies
near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade
thrown into a kitchen in
France would result in
Linoleum
Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like a banana.
10. A hole has been found in the nudist
camp wall. The police are
looking into it.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were
hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other, You
stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the
baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on
the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the
Grass.'
15. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to
a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse
said, 'No change
yet.'
16. A chicken crossing the
road is poultry in motion.
17. The short fortune-teller who
escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
18.> The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
19. A backward poet writes
inverse.
20. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In
feudalism it's your
count that
votes.
table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much
pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whiskey
maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was
confiscated from algebra class because it
was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope,
it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies
near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade
thrown into a kitchen in
France would result in
Linoleum
Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like a banana.
10. A hole has been found in the nudist
camp wall. The police are
looking into it.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were
hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other, You
stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the
baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on
the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the
Grass.'
15. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to
a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse
said, 'No change
yet.'
16. A chicken crossing the
road is poultry in motion.
17. The short fortune-teller who
escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
18.> The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.
19. A backward poet writes
inverse.
20. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In
feudalism it's your
count that
votes.