1. Blaylock's cans are FAKEFAKEFAKE!!!! She's built like a young boy with these doorknobs bolted on.
B. Jolie's are real. Mmmmmmmmmmm....
3. She's actually looking HOTTER now that she's getting older! Check the latest Rolling Stone:
If you don't want to hit that, there's no hope for your soul!!!
"Tomb Ho 2" was a big disappointment.
The resume on this - Jan de Bont directing and Michael Kahn editing - in addition to the hottest pseudo-MILF around should've made this a globe-trotting romp with the properly shot and cut action that the first one lacked, but sadly, that's not what happened here. While it's better than the first one, it manages to make so many dumb mistakes that I was actually angrier leaving this one than the first.
For starters, action movies are about ACTION (duh) and in a summer that's been overloaded with eye-popping action set pieces, it takes a lot just to get into the game, but there was hardly a thrilling moment to be had because the camera and cutting is so haphazard in covering what's going on. From watching behind-the-scenes features, I know that AJ did a ton of her stunts, but you'd never know it from the finished product. The way it's shot, you'd think she did NONE of her stunts and that they were covering for a army of stuntwomen.
Two major screwups are the cliff face rope descent and the jump from the 2nd tallest skyscraper in the world - the former is shot in such close-up that it could've been done on a soundstage/rear-screen and the latter doesn't even have an establishing shot of just how damn tall the building is. Over and over, you don't get to see what's going on and I blame de Bont for this. Kahn has been cutting everything Spielberg's done since CE3K and has 3 Oscars, so he must not have gotten anything good to chop, which makes little sense cuz de Bont directed Speed and Twister and DPed Die Hard, Basic Instinct and Lethal Weapon 3. WTF happened here?!? Also, there are so many instances of double-printing of frames to create slo-motion, it's clear that no one was thinking, "We should shoot this in slo-mo.", while on the set. Faking it in post is plain cheesy.
Jolie's Croft is simultaneously deeper and shallower than her first go, but she comes off worse for wear. If you come across the first one on cable, ignore the movie (simple enough) and just watch HER, esp. the way she reacts to everything and everyone. Maybe it was cuz they were trying to find the character, but it seemed more ALIVE the first time.
I saw a review that clobbered the central plot stupidity of both movies (i.e. If you have half of a two-piece puzzle, why must you take it to the other half where some bad dude will destroy the world with it?!?) and the addition of a rouge dude/ex-love interest never quite works, though it brings some of the little heat the movie has.
I wouldn't be surprised if this kills the film series the way the current Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness video game is stinking up Playstations and PCs after a 4 year wait, resulting in a rushed, buggy and half-assed game. It's too bad when incompetance kills golden goose pop icons.
I give it a 4.5/10 with a bonus 1.5 coming from the presence of Angelina Jolie-Belligerent (it could happen!). Catch it at a dollar show.
(BTW: I coined the phrase "Tomb Ho" waaaaaaay back in the day! Don't believe me? Check what blade called my avatar at left. Tomb Ho dates back to
AGN(!!!) days. I'm old school. Holla!)
