Customer stories....more added

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 11:51 am

Customer came in yesterday to buy an IP address. I was confused. I explained what an IP address was. He said he was having trouble with his DSL, so he called Verizon for support. They told him his PC didn't come with a IP address so he would have to go buy one.

Qui Gon-Jinn · Post by **Qui Gon-Jinn** » Sun Jan 08, 2006 5:18 pm

LMAO.. all good ones..

My favorite.. now take into consideration.. all I do is remote support. I don't do onsite.. the company doesn't do onsite.. everything is done via a VNC Client.. and each and EVERY time we go onto a computer.. the session is initiated by the customer.. part of our service is to schedule some stuff. like a Defrag.. Spybot check.. Virus scan.. and Windows updates. once a week. usually late at night when the computers not in use..

People call. and say "Did you guys find anything on my computer last night?.." so I pull the file.. look. it's been 3 months since they last called in.. I tell them. Uhh we didn't work on your computer last night.. the response "Well don't you go in every ******(insert any day of the week here) and run all your stuff.. NO.. it's done automatically..

Ohh and the lady.. omg.. our worst customer by far.. she calls.. her laptop won't get online at home.. but it works at the office.. so I run through stuff.. ask if it's powered on.. what cables are connected... she says "no cables.. it's a laptop. the screen and keyboard are built in..".. so I figure out that at the office they use WiFi.. Unsecured might I add.. but then if they secured it.. they would be calling us every 20 min's or less.. and at home.. she doesn't have WiFi.. so I get her hooked to the router via a Cat5.. and that took a good 30 min's.. she's dumber than a box of rocks.. anyway.. so I get her online.. connect. start to poke around. get her off the phone.. chedking out this laptop.. running some scans.. and BAM it disconnectes.. I call her.. tell her I need her to reconnect.. she says "it's off".. I ask her to turn it on.. she presses the button.. dell comes up.. and bam.. off again.. hmm battery is dead.. I tell her to hook up the power pack.. and the response "Ohh.. I didn't bring that home. it's to hard to unplugg it and carry it with me.. so I just leave it at the office"..

I have more... really. I do.. it's a daily thing.. I am thinking of starting a forum on my site just for stupid customers from our company..

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 10:06 am

I reloaded a lady's PC. She took it home and called back a couple days later all upset. Says she wants a refund, cause her CDRW will not copy music CDs. I know I installed Nero for her. I ask her if the CD she wants to copy is in the drive, "yes it is." I walk here through all the various steps. She then tells me that she has made it this far herself. I was confused. Then I ask her, "do you see that little icon that looks like a flame and says Burn, did you click that"? She replies, "I don't want to burn my CD, I just want to copy it". I almost lost it.

EvilHorace · Post by **EvilHorace** » Sun Jan 15, 2006 11:12 am

Just because I am an a$$hole.. doesn't mean I don't care..

One of the funniest things I ever witnessed was that once years ago I was standing at a parts department and a customer was telling me what an a$$hole the owner of an old defunct car dealer was. This guy just kept elaborating how much of an a-hole that guy was, not knowing that also standing there at the counter was "the a-hole"'s son, another tech who worked with us. His son was turning red with anger and finally blurted out "THAT'S MY DAD YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!". The customer was startled and in his immediate defence for a way out said "Oh, I didn't mean anything by that, I meant a$$hole in good way"

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:44 am

First thing this morning a customer calls with a laptop issue. In the biggest country accent I think I've heard in this area. "My laptop was work'n just fine....then I accidentally spilled some Cherry Coke in it.......I tipped it on it's side a let it drain out the side.....now I waited a couple minutes, cause I know you need to let them dry out....then I turned it back on.....I then heard a sizzling sound and my screen went white. Does that mean I have a virus?" I said "yes, you have the Cherry Coke virus."

Post by **FlyingPenguin** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:53 am

Most of my clients have brains I guess. I see very few like your examples. I see a LOT of the reverse (stupid or lazy tech support people telling clients something moronic just to get rid of them).

Couple of days ago I tuneup a system for a nice older woman. Her email wasn't (Outlook Express using Earthlink via Sprint DSL). Turned out to be my old Nemesis Norton A/V. When she upgraded it, it broke Outlook Express.

Anyway Earthlink had told her that the problem was with her networking protocals and that she was going to have to re-install Windows. This was after they had walked her through 3 hours of troubleshooting over the phone. In the process they had totally screwed up her PC (disabled firewall, changed IE settings, disabled IE cache, uninstalled JAVA, you name it).

30 seconds after I sat down at the PC, I had her email working (right-click NAV taskbar icon, disable real-time protection). Another happy customer I've introduced to AVG.

wvjohn · Post by **wvjohn** » Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:44 am

Guy in my office couldn't save docs to MS Word. Sat down to try and figure it out and pretty obvious keyboard was FUBAR. Went in the back to get another KB and when swapping out noticed that old KB was leaking water

He kinda sorta remembered knocking a bottle of water over. Shook it out and told him he had to set it for 3 days on its side in front of his desk where the air circulation was best

Miraculously, it recovered but looked kind of silly in front of his desk for 3 days

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 11:15 am

Lady called and asked if we had towers to go with her Compaq Presario. My buddy said "yes we do, they come with a Compaq Presario modem, a Compaq Presario network card, a Compaq Presario CPU, Compaq Presario RAM, a Compaq Presario floppy, a Compaq Presario CD burner, a Compaq Presario motherboard, a Compaq Presario mouse, a Compaq Presario keyboard, a Compaq Presario power cord, a Compaq Presario logo....no mam you can't use your Dell power cord, you have to use a Compaq Presario power cord from Compaq Presario". She said "oh ok"....and hung up. We laughed our @sses off.

GuardianAsher · Post by **GuardianAsher** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:08 pm

Ok, I think I have the rudest customer story to boot. You try and beat this.

I get a call from this lady, asking for computer help. Now for me, this is weird, since I usually work for friends and family only. Turns out one of my clients had given out my phone number. So she says there was a power surge, and the computer doesn't want to turn on anymore afterwards. She gives me her address, and I make plans to head over there to check it out.

I get there the next day, and the lady seems to be in a pretty cruddy mood, but I bear with it. She then tells me that she will only give me a maximum of $50 to fix the computer, and for labor, since she figures that's all the thing is worth. I tell her simply that I need to check the computer to see what's wrong with it, before I can quote her a price. After a bit of back and forth, she agrees to this, but tells me to hurry up. Now, I know I should have just left then and there, but no. Since she knew my client, who is a close friend of mine, I thought I might as well stick this one out.

I go to the computer, and press the power button. Nothing. Now, apparently, this lady didn't know what this computer was worth. Turns out it was a gift from her son. It was a Pentium 4 3.06GHz comp with a gig of RAM, and a 200GB HD. And it turns out that, on top of the PSU being dead, it took out all the other components with it. That's what you get for not using a surge protector.

I tell the lady that the computer is completely dead, and I can't fix it with only $50. No way in hell. I offer to help her with the warrenty to get it fixed, but no, she won't have any of that. She gets mad at me, and accuses me of being lazy and trying to rip an old woman off, before shooing me out of the house with a fecking broom, telling me to never come back again.

Last time I ever do anyone a favor. >.<

Qui Gon-Jinn · Post by **Qui Gon-Jinn** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 3:10 pm

want to give her the number for the store..

we can then CONFIRM your diag.. and then prove that the "OLD LADY".. is dumb and deserves not to have a computer..

anytimg you have ppl who want a "2nd Opinion".. tell them to call us.. then call me. and let me know what I have on the way.. I trust you and will back you on it.. and.. if I get business out of it.. I will give you 2% of the total sales minus Tax back.. as IN STORE CREDIT!

so.. you may not make the money on the repair.. but you can pass on the headache.. and maybe get some credit at the store..

GuardianAsher · Post by **GuardianAsher** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:09 pm

Oh man, this was a couple of years back, really. It was before I really started doing it for money, But MAN, she was a witch

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 2:49 pm

Lady called and said that her husband put her PC in the attic last year. She said she thinks her startup got melted. LOL

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:06 pm

I think these people were having problems installing AOL.

MegaVectra · Post by **MegaVectra** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 12:17 pm

Wonder why their PC was running slow?

GuardianAsher · Post by **GuardianAsher** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 4:56 pm

Holy crap...