Men/Women Translations

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Thu Apr 26, 2001 6:34 pm

Just thought I would educate the masses as to the differences in the male/female vocabulary:

TRANSLATING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

We need = I want

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need to talk = I need to complain about what you are doing

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

You're so... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

TRANSLATING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage

I love you = Let's have sex now

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

What's wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?

I love you, too = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay

:lol

Hipnotic_Tranz · Post by **Hipnotic_Tranz** » Thu Apr 26, 2001 7:18 pm

bwahahahahaa :lol

Ahhhh, it speaks the truth though.

dadx2mj · Post by **dadx2mj** » Thu Apr 26, 2001 7:46 pm

That is great and trust me I am going to put that list to good use.

Fu Manchu · Post by **Fu Manchu** » Thu Apr 26, 2001 9:07 pm

which one you gonna use firsst .. this one "I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
"

j/k

Ladies Man · Post by **Ladies Man** » Thu Apr 26, 2001 9:09 pm

my g/f said i now have no reason to not understand what she is saying

TheManiacal1 · Post by **TheManiacal1** » Fri Apr 27, 2001 3:42 am

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you 

my translation:

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'm expecting some nookie tonite after you stuff yourself and blow my money on this expensive food...

EvilHorace · Post by **EvilHorace** » Fri Apr 27, 2001 5:38 am

I think most (if not all) women know that 'free dinner' = SEX, no escape. The other guy translations often need a little more hinting to get the point home but they're all so true

The Wraithlord · Post by **The Wraithlord** » Sat Apr 28, 2001 8:21 am

Hehe. Kind of really points out what is on our minds the most eh?

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Sat Apr 28, 2001 11:04 am

Mwahahaha...that is soooo true...

Frost · Post by **Frost** » Sat Apr 28, 2001 11:50 am

Definetly true

I like:

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys :lol

Demrok · Post by **Demrok** » Sun Apr 29, 2001 4:13 am

bwa hahahahahah !!!! funny stuff, and mostly true

and FOR SHAME !!! damn men and their.... "I DEMAND or EXPECT sex....." outlook on life
tsk tsk tsk

you get alot more women if you don't think like that